R Shepard: The Untold Story
by Henri Orel
Summary: Commander R. Shepard, Colonist, Sole Survivor, Peacemaker, Biotic. A series of short stories depicting entries on the vid-diary of Shepard, focusing on her feelings and thoughts: the loss, the love, the friendship. Not a novelization of the series. 1st fanfic: I welcome all criticism and ideas! Rated M for language, violence, romance etc.
1. 1 In a dark day, it all begins

**Personal Report  
** **Commander R. Shepard, Alliance Navy, SSV Normandy SR-1  
** **2183 CE**

 _[faint noise on the background, static on the screen]  
_ _[image clears, a single person is visible, chest up]_

I, uh, well. I have never done that before. So, uh, here we go, I guess.

 _[arranges herself on the chair]_

Today was a memorable one. Well, if it really is still today. It's kinda hard to keep track of time when you're traveling faster than light.  
Anyway.  
Everything started with the shakedown run with Captain Anderson, but I think that's known to everyone around the extranet. News travel fast in the 22nd century.  
Eden Prime was... I don't even know how to describe it. It was supposed to be a paradise, but all those people... [sigh] I guess I'll never get used to some things (and it may be better that way). But something good came out of it, or so everyone says to me.  
You see, people see me as some kind of hero. A savior, a model to be followed. How I feel about that, you ask? I feel scared. Scared to fuck it up. Not scared to fuck up with my career or something, no. But to fail with everyone, to get people killed. That's what makes things worse, even if the mission report - and the Council - say it was all a success. Civilians died. Jenkins died. God.  
How am I supposed to be a model to everyone back on Earth - hell, to every human in the whole Galaxy! - if I let something like that happen?

Sometimes I wonder if Saren ever felt like me. Felt he would do everything right, that he was doing good. Sometimes, I wonder if I won't end up just like him, with all this power.  
Ugh, Shepard, knock it off. You're depressing... well, yourself, because I don't think anyone will ever listen to that. I am not even sure if I won't delete the file, actually.

But all of that doesn't matter, not right now. I have a mission, and I *will* complete it. No matter how I feel like or what I think: if I'm a model to people, I'm a model, end of story; and I *have* to make things right. I am a Commander and I have a responsibility, and I will honor it.  
 _[sad laugh]_ I wonder what my folks would think of me right now... Who would ever have wondered? The shy farm girl, now a full time Alliance Soldier and the first ever human Spectre.  
I hope they're proud, wherever they are. I miss you, guys.

 _[static, end of the vid-log]_

* * *

 _Author's note:_

Hey! Thanks a lot for reading! This is my first fanfic ever, and I'm really excited. English is not my main language, but I'm trying my best; feel free to correct me!

My idea is to post various short entries of Shepard's vid diary, showing what goes on inside her head: how she copes with everything going around her, the deaths, the love, the friendship. I'm not trying to novelize the whole trilogy's story, so I won't necessarily be writing about every major event, rather focusing on some thoughts by the Commander while she ventures throughout the galaxy.

I would love to hear what you guys think! I'm intend to post a chapter or two every week, but we'll see how that goes.

Anyway, really excited here, hope you all like it :)

\- Henri Orel


	2. 2 Normandy's crew: the good, the bad

**Personal Report**  
 **Commander R. Shepard, Alliance Navy, SSV Normandy SR-1**  
 **2183 CE**

 _[static, image clears]_  
 _[laughs are heard faintly, screens turns black]_  
 _[image gets back on, Shepard sits on her chair. Stares at the camera for a while, starts speaking]_

I was so caught up on everything that happened that I didn't even comment about the Captain's - about my crew (still getting used to it). We already had quite the good people around here, but we ended up picking some more along the way.

We first met Garrus Vakarian when going to talk to the Council for the first time. A turian, tall and charmful as hell. He was the one in charge for Saren's investigation, and he seemed pretty pissed off about his superiors not listening to him. He was real polite with me, Ashley and Kaidan; something not so common among turians.  
He's a good man, if a bit reckless. He took quite the chance shooting Fist's guys that way; could've easily have hit Dr. Michel instead. At least she ended up ok.  
He's determined as hell, too, and shoots with a sniper rifle like I've never seen before. Garrus seemed pretty happy with the chance of working with a Spectre; no laws to keep us from getting things done, he says. Like I said, a good guy, but a bit reckless. Might do a good Spectre one day.

Urdnot Wrex came right after. Big guy, even for a Krogan. Scars all over his face, his voice even rougher than Garrus'. For a bounty hunter, he actually knows his shit. Must've have seen things I can't even imagine. He's still hard to deal with, though. I mean, he's a Krogan - those guys seem to have a stick up their asses, one even bigger than the turians. But they have a good reason about it. I don't think humanity would be any less angry and hostile if it was us with the genophage.

We found Tali'Zorah, the Quarian, just in time. One more minute and she might have been as dead as dead can be.  
I haven't met much Quarians, but I can say she's young for her people. She's on her Pilgrimage - kinda of a rite of passage to adulthood for the Quarians - and is willing to help us take Saren down, no matter what.  
She's cute. Cute, but I've seen the damage she can do in combat. Tough girl. She was astonished with the Normandy's drive core, with how silent it is. She told me that, in the Flotilla, silence means danger: something, an engine or worse, has stopped working. She's still getting used to silence not meaning certain death aboard the Normandy.

I guess humans have it really easy when compared to Quarians or Krogans.

Some of the crew are a little uneasy with so much aliens on board. Pressly and Ashley have been vocal about it, even, but I don't think there's need for it. I reassured them that we're all working together for a greater good; after all, Saren's a threat to everyone on the galaxy, not just humans (even if he pretty much hates us).  
The galaxy's already a pretty dark place without prejudice; there's no need to add to it.

We're heading to Therum now. We're looking for Benezia's daughter, Dr. Liara T'soni. She might have some clues about what the hell is going on, so I figured it would be a good place to start our journey. It will be a long one.

My first real mission as a Spectre... I just hope this one has less explosions than Eden Prime; and a lot less dead bodies.

 _[static, end of the vid-log]_

* * *

 _Author's note: just a quick update. I wanted to explore how Shepard first saw her teammates, before really knowing them. Thank you if you read this far, and tell me what you think! This is all new for me, so any and all criticism is appreciated :)_


End file.
